I have been guilty of SO MANY of these phrases! Just read ADHD is Awesome by Penn & Kim Holderness and he devoted an entire chapter about how often people unintentionally cause shame to those with ADHD. Gulp! My husband, son, various other family members, and students have ADHD and I need to be better! I created an “Instead of…Try This…” list to help. I have it on my fridge and classroom wall. I’m keeping the list up until it’s second nature for me.
We all have moments of frustration, and no one speaks perfectly all the time. But small shifts in the way we talk to our kids can have a huge impact on their self-esteem, emotional well-being, and overall success. By choosing words that guide and support rather than shame and criticize, we can help ADHD kids feel capable, valued, and confident in their own skin. Instead of unintentionally reinforcing shame or frustration, we can adjust our words to encourage problem-solving, self-advocacy, and resilience.
Download my free printable here:

ADHD Brains Have Superpowers, Too
It’s important to remember and celebrate their talents. People with ADHD don’t just struggle—they have incredible strengths that often go unnoticed. Their brains are wired for:
Creativity – Thinking outside the box, coming up with unique solutions, and seeing connections others might miss.
Resilience – ADHD kids face challenges daily, but when supported, they develop incredible perseverance.
Hyperfocus – When engaged in something they love, they can concentrate for hours, mastering skills or subjects deeply.
Spontaneity & Humor – Many ADHD kids have a natural sense of humor and an ability to bring joy to those around them.
When we shift from frustration to understanding, we help kids with ADHD see their strengths, develop confidence, and build resilience—key factors in reducing anxiety and depression risk. ADHD brains have lower levels of dopamine which makes them higher risk for developing anxiety and depression. It’s so important to celebrate and support them as much as we correct them.
Final Thoughts
If you’re looking for more insights on ADHD and how to support kids in a way that builds confidence instead of shame, here are a few books I highly recommend:
- Smart but Scattered – A fantastic resource for understanding executive function challenges and learning practical strategies to help kids develop these essential skills. This book has helped me create checklists for my son that are specifically catered to his executive function deficits.
- ADHD is Awesome – Shifts the narrative from struggle to strength, highlighting the incredible abilities that often come with an ADHD brain.
- You, Me, and Our ADHD Family – A relatable and encouraging read for families navigating ADHD together. (I love this book so much, it even has a dedicated blog post!)
- The Molecule of More – A fascinating deep dive into how dopamine shapes motivation, focus, and behavior.
Each of these books offers a fresh perspective and actionable takeaways to help kids with ADHD thrive!
What are some ADHD-friendly phrases you’ve found helpful? Let’s keep this conversation going! Drop a comment below.
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